Criticism is everywhere—pointing out flaws, weaknesses, and failures. On the other end of the spectrum, cheer leading is just as common—offering applause and encouragement without truly challenging anyone to grow.

If you consider these two approaches to leadership behaviors as points on a continuum, you’ll see they are at extreme ends. The most meaningful, most powerful role we can play is the sweet spot somewhere in the middle. As leaders we are coaches, with the privilege and responsibility to help our people succeed.

If you’ve been following my work over the years, you’re already familiar with the term learning moments – those experiences, successes and failures, that teach us and our tribe valuable lessons. Provided, of course, that we share those learning moments with our fellow tribe members in a safe, mutually supportive workplace environment.

I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to another concept: Leadership moments – those interactions we have with our tribe members that, assuming we handle them wisely, teach us all valuable lessons in how we can use our role as leaders to grow, develop, and encourage excellence in our team.

Team excellence has the best chance to emerge if we assign ourselves the role of being their coach. Not their cheerleader or critic. That’s the sweet spot.

In my book, Any Dumbass Can Do It: Learning Moments from an Everyday CEO of a Multi-Billion-Dollar Company, I talk about how coaches create a safe space to help others grow, guiding them to see not just who they are today but who they can become tomorrow. Check out Chapter 11: The Coach’s Best Game is Off the Field.

Coaching requires vulnerability, curiosity, and an unwavering belief in people’s ability to grow—and that’s no easy feat. Coaching also requires humility in that your role is away from the spotlight of high-performance play. It’s never about you. It’s about your tribe member. Your role is discreet, private, one-on-one. Your best leadership moments happen when no one else is looking.

So, when you step into your role as a leader, ask yourself: Are you just a critic, tearing down what you see? Are you a cheerleader, clapping for what’s already obvious? Are you performing for the crowd? Or quietly helping your people become the successes they deserve to be? Are you willing to step up as a coach, committed to helping others achieve more than they ever thought possible?

Leadership—and coaching—takes self-restraint, self-awareness, empathy, and intentionally. But trust me, it’s worth it. That’s how you build a culture where everyone thrives and grows. And that’s how you prove that leadership is about action, not just words. Even when your own action is on the sidelines.

I want to give a heartfelt shout out to Adam Grant, whose thoughtful message about coaching and leadership continues to inspire so many of us.

Adam, thank you not only for sharing your insights but also for lending your voice to Any Dumbass Can Do It. Your endorsement of the book as “refreshing” and “rare” means the world to me, and it reminds us all that leadership is about humility, growth, and empowering others to thrive.

Leadership Tip: Transform from Boss to Coach

Inspired by Chapter 11: The Coach’s Best Game is Off the Field from Any Dumbass Can Do It, this tip highlights the powerful shift from boss to coach.

When a team member is having a tough day or under performing, resist the temptation to chastise or correct them publicly.

Instead, take a step back and approach the situation with empathy and curiosity. A private, supportive conversation can do wonders to restore their confidence and preserve their dignity.

Instead of asking “why” questions that put people on the defensive, try open-ended questions like, “What’s on your mind?” or “What’s the real challenge here for you?” as outlined in The Coaching Habit.

This approach encourages collaboration and helps team members feel seen and supported.

By focusing on co-creating solutions and nurturing excellence, you’ll build a culture of trust and inspire your team to thrive—off the field, not on it.